The day I run a half marathon has been on my mind and my bucket list for years. This actual race date (February 9) has been on my calendar for only a few months, but the journey to get here has been years in the making. If you have known me for awhile, or maybe even in recent years if I’ve shared it with you, you know that I have spent all of my teenage years and a majority of my college and adult years struggling with an eating disorder. There was a time that I thought I would never get to be “normal” in terms of eating. That every day would always, for the rest of my life, be a constant struggle in my eating. I never stopped trying, never stopped giving up hope that one day it would all end. But truthfully, deep down I wondered what would be the after effect of such a long struggle with an eating disorder. Would my body have long lasting effects, would I be able to enjoy my later years or had I damaged myself beyond repair?
Today I am healthier than I have ever been, happy with the strength I am finding in my body and in each new obstacle I throw it’s way. When I cross that finish line, I will be standing in victory. I will have defeated the odds, I will have earned every single mile through tears, struggles, and so much more. The Lord sustained me when I couldn’t hold my own, He held me in every moment, and never let loose of His perfect grip on me. Every step is a miracle to me. I never thought I had it in me, and I never thought I’d be given the chance to find out.
I’m not afraid of failure. If I don’t try, I will never know what I am capable of. The journey is the miracle. I am the miracle. I overcame what I thought would be the end of me….and not only am I surviving, I am thriving. God has placed in me a strength that I didn’t know existed, and we are journeying to places I never thought I’d go. I am a fighter, I am determined, and when I cross that finish line, I can guarantee you I’ll be a different person than I was when I started this journey. I am learning a lot about myself, and I’m loving every second of it.